A Deep Dive into the Human Psyche using the Enneagram.

I've been a personal development fanatic ever since my mom introduced me to metaphysics in my teens. From that point on I've devoured many self help books, wellness modalities and spiritual teachings in attempt to put myself back together. I first came across the Enneagram in 2013 while studying coaching, but it’s only recently that I’ve truly sunk my claws into it, allowing its wisdom to permeate and help me understand both myself and others on a much deeper level.

Through this this deeper investigation I discovered a framework of such genius, the geometry of which was first revealed prior to the 1900's and slowly it layers have unfolded into the personality typing system we know today. The Enneagram not only explains why we act the way we do, but also opens up a new way of relating to others, points to a divinely aligned growth path for each type, and is even a gateway to understanding the Higher Self.

Personally, it has given me three priceless gifts: deeper compassion in my romantic relationships, greater understanding in my family, and a clearer doorway into my spiritual life. As a Type 9 with a 1 wing, these shifts have been especially transformative.

Romantic Relationships: From Judgment to Compassion

As a Type 9, my instinct is to avoid conflict and seek peace. But peace doesn’t always come naturally when I can’t understand where someone’s behavior is coming from. My mind often slips into quiet judgment: Why are they acting like this? Why can’t they just…?

In my past two relationships, this was a painful pattern. Both partners had very different personalities from my own. I tried to make sense of them by questioning behaviors that felt foreign to me, such as, why they said what they said, why they reacted the way they did. When I couldn’t understand them, my default was silent judgment, which only created distance.

The Enneagram gave me a way to unhook from that cycle. Instead of asking, “Why are they doing this to me?” I began asking, “What’s driving this for them?” When I could see the underlying motivations, the “grain of sand” at the center of their personality pearl, I softened into compassion.

This shift has given me more spaciousness in love. Rather than getting stuck in labels or stories, I can step back, breathe, and choose to dig deeper for understanding. As a 9, this not only preserves peace — it creates a truer, more compassionate peace than before.

Family Relationships: A New Lens of Understanding

The same has been true in my family. For years, I couldn’t understand why my mom needed the house to be perfectly tidy, or why appearances mattered so much. From my perspective, it seemed unnecessary.

When I discovered she is a Type 1, with a 2 wing, it all made sense. For Type 1s, a sense of order, correctness, and “rightness” is wired into how they experience life. A tidy, structured environment isn’t just about cleanliness, it helps them feel grounded and safe.

What I once found frustrating, I now see with compassion. Instead of resisting her reality, I can appreciate it. I also began to see how my own 1 wing shapes me. As a 9, I love comfort and ease, but my 1 wing means I also appreciate tidiness. My home is usually neat, but unlike some Type 1's, I don’t get rattled if the dog leaves hair on the couch.

The Enneagram showed me that what I thought of as “just habits” are actually deep personality needs. This awareness has brought more kindness into my family relationships — and more acceptance of myself.

Divine Relationship: Understanding Myself Beyond the Personality

The Enneagram shows me not only who I am, but also who I am not. It reflects back the personality patterns I express as a Type 9 - avoiding impact, hiding away, maintaining a calm demeaner etc.  and in doing so, reminds me that I am not these personality patterns, in truth I am the observer of them.

I am not my fears, or my habits, or my strategies for feeling safe and loved. I am pure awareness. The Enneagram allows me to watch the personality playing itself out, without confusing it for my true essence.

This clarity has given me a greater sense of freedom. Instead of being caught in endless questions like “Why do I fear making a dent in the world?” or “Why do I hold on to this pattern?” I can step back, recognize it as the personality doing its thing, and rest in the spaciousness of Divine presence.

Why I Became an Enneagram Coach

I felt inspired by the transformative abilities of Enneagram. Not only did I find it fascinating, but it also opened doors to growth and dissolved away limiting beliefs. I wanted to guide others through the same process of discovery and transformation.

The Enneagram isn’t about putting us in boxes. As Colleen-Joy Page of InnerLifeSkills says: “It’s about showing us the box we’re already in". For me, that awareness feels like being handed the keys to step out of the box and into freedom.

If the Enneagram has sparked something in you, I'd love to hear about it! A guided Enneagram Typing Journey is a process that helps you uncover your true type, understand the patterns shaping your life, and open new doors for growth while dissolving limiting beliefs. If you’d like to find out more, feel free to reach out, I’d be delighted to share this journey with you.